Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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