Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i believe in u and ur pee
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize