break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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