whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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