If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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