she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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