okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize