ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
