I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
