I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize