we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
