Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky

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  (513): i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky http://tfl.nu/hn4y
  Replies (24) Good night (3115) Bad night (665)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5760) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

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  (843): woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur http://tfl.nu/wpeh
  Replies (31) Good night (5018) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.

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  (561): i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it. http://tfl.nu/80hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2474) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.

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  (610): He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember. http://tfl.nu/2y89
  Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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  (859): Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me. http://tfl.nu/05qc
  Replies (5) Good night (2627) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls

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  (406): Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls http://tfl.nu/v5lo
  Replies (7) Good night (2003) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

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  (310): Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul http://tfl.nu/k128
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (864) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...

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  (605): "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in... http://tfl.nu/n5vg
  Replies (4) Good night (1373) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I reek of latex and grilled onions.

  (626): View more from California

  Mission accomplished.

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  (626): I reek of latex and grilled onions. (626): Mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/k1oy
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.

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  (267): Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal. http://tfl.nu/sw1l
  Replies (5) Good night (408) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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  (954): Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice. http://tfl.nu/h7nm
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record

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  (608): Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record http://tfl.nu/xql5
  Replies (3) Good night (412) Bad night (210)

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