If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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