Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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(631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81

Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (525)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.

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(410): She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard. http://tfl.nu/ezls

Replies (9) Good night (563) Bad night (2826)
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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n

Replies (47) Good night (6857) Bad night (944)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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(405): i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes http://tfl.nu/6w2z

Replies (10) Good night (5510) Bad night (1095)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

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(314): Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us. http://tfl.nu/5cyi

Replies (12) Good night (5927) Bad night (1618)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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(918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm

Replies (22) Good night (4447) Bad night (1246)
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(207): View more from Maine

you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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(207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n

Replies (11) Good night (5458) Bad night (844)
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(906): View more from Michigan

he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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(906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs

Replies (4) Good night (2990) Bad night (945)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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(573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0

Replies (8) Good night (5586) Bad night (852)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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(610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0

Replies (6) Good night (2951) Bad night (1080)
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(305): View more from Florida

The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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(305): The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies. http://tfl.nu/h31z

Replies (9) Good night (2459) Bad night (655)
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(305): View more from Florida

You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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(305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys

Replies (7) Good night (546) Bad night (930)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

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(816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu

Replies (5) Good night (2657) Bad night (402)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway

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(803): Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway http://tfl.nu/xe68

Replies (6) Good night (807) Bad night (342)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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(919): It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds. http://tfl.nu/w9p4

Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (204)

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