this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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