i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
