There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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