Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
