If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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