there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will be naked everywhere
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
