Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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