Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
