I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
