I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
