she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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