idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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