I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
