you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
