I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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