you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
