totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
