I love black thongs
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
did i just pee glitter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
