NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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