Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
