dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
