The maid of honor just puked.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
