This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
