Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
