I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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