As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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