She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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