I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
