I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
