just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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