I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
