I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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