I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
