in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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