woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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