So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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