My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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