Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
