1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
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i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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