It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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