Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
