eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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