it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize