"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Life is so much better after having sex.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
