sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
