do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
