We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
