Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
