Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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