I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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