so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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