So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
