She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
