Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
