Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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