considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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